What would your 80% look like?
This is something I often ask the clients I work with who are often on the edge of burnout.
They are giving more than they have to every role they carry; colleague, parent, partner, child, sibling, friend.
Gradually over time, they’ve learned that it’s their job to be there for everyone around them; to ‘fix’ and take responsibility for problems that aren’t theirs to carry. That in order to be successful and to keep others happy, they must perform at 100% in every aspect of their life, all the time. And in doing that, their own needs and wellbeing get pushed down to the bottom of the pile, and they learn to just ‘keep going’.
And when it all gets too much, the instinct is to want to run. Being signed off with burnout, only for the same problems to be waiting upon their return to work. Leaving a job, only for the pattern to repeat again in the next one.
This isn’t something a mental health workshop, a spa day, a few days off, or even a holiday is going to fix.
At the root of it is something deeper; a belief that their worth is tied to what they produce, achieve and how much they give.
Productivity becomes self-worth. Their value becomes based on external feedback and achievements. And in that cycle, it’s easy to forget a fundamental truth: our worth isn’t something we earn. It’s inherent.
So I often ask: what would your 80% look like?
For many, it’s a lightbulb moment. Because what feels like 100% is often closer to 120%. And sustaining that is impossible.
What if your 80% is already someone else’s 100%?
We get to decide our 100%. The trouble is, when we fall into the productivity-based self-worth cycle, our view of what’s realistic, healthy, and sustainable becomes distorted.
And more often than not, that 100% doesn’t include our own needs.